Divorce is a time of upheaval when emotions run freely. You may be angry, upset and frustrated with your spouse throughout the process. You may also have a hard time coping, even though you understand that you are not alone in going through this. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there were nearly 750,000 divorces and annulments in the U.S. in 2019.
If you are one of the many going through a divorce, communicating effectively with your spouse will benefit all parties involved. Here are some tips to follow that might make things easier and keep communication on track.
Avoid conversations when upset
It is tempting to get angry with your spouse during divorce-related conversations. If you find yourself getting emotional and upset, put on the brakes. Wait to take the conversation any further until you are in a calmer state of mind. Try to think about the potential consequences of what you want to say and understand how something might be interpreted.
Set communication boundaries
Begin your divorce by laying out parameters for communicating with your spouse and discussing issues like child custody, property division and other matters. For example, set up a time each week to go over divorce issues and figure out what format to use, whether you have conversations over the phone, electronically or in-person. Don’t use your children as go-betweens for communication issues and avoid discussing divorce-related issues in front of them.
Focus on the issues
You may experience the urge to bring up past problems from your marriage when talking to your spouse. This can only lead to additional strife. Try to keep your conversations on track by only focusing on current topics of discussion.
It can be tough to communicate with your spouse amicably during a divorce. But, the way you handle your split can dictate the relationship you have with your spouse moving forward, especially if you hope to share custody of your children.